Love and Relationships Archives

Five Reasons why fighting between couples is good

The heading must be a little unsettling for you. What do you mean by saying fighting is good? Have you lost it? These are some of the possible questions which are bubbling up in your mind. But, hey, it is a proven fact that those couples who fight a little are, in fact, better lovers than those who do not. Of course, we are not referring to a severe fight that would end up badly. However, small fights, arguments can help you out in a relationship in several ways. Here are some reasons why you should not be alarmed at every little fight with your sweetheart and rather enjoy it at times. Let’s check this out.

Fights bring out unresolved issues:

We know you are in love with each other. But there must be some conflicts between the opinions of you two. You may think it is better to keep any dispute aside and carry on with your sweet relationship stuff. But, any disagreement, however insignificant it may seem, can be a significant reason to worry if bottled up for long. Even if you are careful to avoid that issue, it will keep resurfacing once in a while. And then, it can ruin your relationship before you know.

So, the best thing to do is to let it be out in the front. It would be best if you never escaped from confronting a conflict. You both are adults. You can sit and resolve the matter. During a fight, you need to let your anger burst out. Through a row, you can stop the issue from cropping up ever in the future. It is better, as you hold no grudges against each other after venting out. It makes your relationship a hundred times healthier.

Fight helps you understand your partner better:

Debate or argument comes from disagreement. Fighting signifies that you both have announced your opinions, and they differ. So, if you do not say your idea out loud, the other one can’t understand you. So, even if it leads to a fight, you should make your disagreement known to your partner. Fighting ensures that you both have decided to talk things through. It also helps you grow to respect and understanding the partner better. So, next time the issue comes up, you may remember the fight regarding the issue and may not take any step that might hurt your partner. Gradually, you build an understanding of your partner’s point of view, opinions, and choices.

It helps you to spice up things:

When your relationship is not brand new, and you both are busy with your individual lives, items may be a little routine-like. But a huge fight can make something a little unusual. After a fight, you may start thinking about how your life is when he is not around you. You may feel sad when you want to share something out of your characteristic spontaneity but realize she is not there. Yes! It hurts. The sense of need may dawn upon you after a fight. The one whom you have taken for granted suddenly becomes the most missed person. Then you feel that you two are actually like the two hemispheres of the world, even more perfect. It might do magic for your otherwise complacent relationship. Voila! But, do not bit each other to make it enjoyable. All we are saying is that; do not dive deep into pessimism after a fight. Wait for the silver lining.

You suddenly know if it is really ‘forever’:

Monitoring the attitude of your partner after a fight is essential for you if you are thinking of plunging into the relationship for a lifetime. After a struggle, when you are not in the talking term, you might feel right about relationships. If you are missing him, then he might be the ‘one’. But, if you have any second thoughts about the link, then you might have to find another one. The intensity of your relationship is tested after a fight. If your partner backs off after a little fight, you need to let him go. If someone loves you, he will never bounce back no matter what. You may not need a person as your life partner if a couple-fight gets him all scared. Thus, a fight now and then assures you of the future of your bond.

After the fight, you burn with passion:

Which is the most memorable sex a couple could have? One of the many possible answers should be the post-fight one. Couples indeed love to make up after a bad fight. And, oh boy, that is so romantic. After a severe argument, you both can do with intense lovemaking. The intensity of the case makes way for an even more intense passion. It may seem to be ridiculous, but it is healthy.

Sometimes, the intensity of lovemaking is a result of the sting of guilt that you feel after saying negative things to your partner. Sometimes, you may feel bad that this fight may break us apart or create a distance between you two. So, you unconsciously bestow unparalleled passion for your lover. So, this is a positive outcome of fighting with your love. But, do not just start to blow each other up only to strengthen your bond. That would be pointless. Fight only when the cause is genuine.

So, fighting does not seem as scary as it used to. Any relationship is not a joke. You have to put labor to maintain that. You have to take care, go some extra miles to keep it a happy one. But, do not make a big deal on having every little problem. If it is inevitable, no fight can diminish it. If he is the one for you, you can be you with him. You can argue, and you can fight. If he holds on to you, you are a lucky girl.

So, sit and fight! Just as the adults do.

How to maintain a married life?

Every relationship is special and unique in its way. Each of us put in lots of efforts to make sure that we sustain our relationship through the highs and lows of life.

When you are a newly wedded couple, giving time and priority to your relationship is much easier. But as you have kids, things become little complicated because of the added responsibilities and the role of a mother and a father add to that. If you are a working couple then things can get way more complicated.

But actually, this is not at all good and nurturing for your relationship in the long term. So, if you want to keep your relationship as fresh as new then you should take into consideration following tips and tricks.

Ways to maintain a married life

It is rightly said that being happily married is not that easy and in reality, happily married ever after does not exist. You have to put in your love, efforts and most importantly time to nurture it.

You should always keep in mind that your marriage is the foundation of your family and your life as a whole so having a strong and affectionate bond with your significant other is very crucial.

Love your partner

Appreciate the efforts that your significant other puts in to provide for your family and ensuring that your family is comfortable and secured. Your few words of appreciation will soothe their tired body after a long day of hard work.

Be thankful

As said earlier you need appreciate the hard work of your significant other. But your appreciation will effectively reach the heart of your loved one if you are truly thankful to them from your heart.

Love yourself

While taking care of the house, kids and course spouse we tend to forget ourselves and we prioritize everything else except us. This has to change, you need to first love yourself, give time to yourself then only you will be able to love anyone else in its true sense.

Give importance to other relationships

Well, your bonding with your better half and kids is very important however every once in a while, you should take out the time to strengthen other relationships in your life. So, it might bs time to plan as a solo weekend trip with your friends or maybe just have a sip of a coffee at your favorite coffee shop with relatives.

Be kind

Life gets tough sometimes and we indeed face difficult situations, but you should never take out your frustration on your family members, in fact not anyone at all. You should learn the techniques of stress management, which will ensure that you only say kind words to others, whatever may be the situation.

Be silent when needed

If your partner is having a bad day and is in the hot temper for no reason, it does not mean that you should argue with him/her to prove to them what is right. Instead, you should just keep silent and move away from the scenario for a bit.

Keep the passion alive

Although you may not be a newlywed couple, love does not know age. You can keep the passion alive by being creative and sensual on the bed. Be in the moment, and enjoy the bliss of marital life.

Express love

You don’t need to do anything extravagant like throwing a party to express love to your significant other. Your love can be expressed through small things like a sticky note on a refrigerator or a small note slip inside their lunch, a beautiful rose given for no reason at all.

Go all out

In the tougher times of life, go all out to help your loved ones in every way possible to you. It can be just head massage after a tiring day or helping out in small chores around the house.

Stand by

There may be times which will test your companionship, so make sure that you stand strong beside your spouse giving him/ her all the support that you can provide.

Prioritize

Life tends to get little busier as we move further and further with life, especially after having kids. The wives get so indulged fulfilling their responsibilities towards the kids 24/7 that they cannot spare much time to spend with their better half.

But you need to know how to balance life. Sometimes, you have to prioritize your spouse over everything else. You need to do it for your relationship and to make the family stick together.

Communicate face to face

The technology has adversely affected the way we communicate with each other. It has certainly reduced the distance between the people living in the opposite corners of the world however it has made a kind of drift between the people living under one roof. So, for maintaining a successful marriage, you certainly need to work on this area.

Know the love languages

There are 5 love languages that you need to know about. Every person is unique and so are their ways of expressing and expecting love from their partners. Therefore, you first need to understand what is the love language of your better half to connect with him/her in the right way.

Go out for dates

Date nights are not only meant for girlfriends and boyfriends but also a married couple. You must schedule a date night for both of you because life gets busier and in this fast-paced life, and you deserve some personal moments of love and romance. Again, it need not be something extravagant every time, a little coffee date or a stroll in a beautiful park will work just fine.

By implementing these tips and tricks make sure that you and your spouse enjoy every moment of your beautiful journey ever after. Make sure you nurture and grow together and share a happy life.

It’s Over, Now What? How to Find a Good Divorce Attorney

The divorce rate in America is not 50 percent. That’s a common myth that doesn’t hold up to basic scrutiny. As of 2018, the divorce rate was a bit under 40 percent.

If you’re thinking of getting a divorce, you shouldn’t feel embarrassed.

We’re long past the days where unhappy spouses fled to Nevada for an easy divorce. You can get no-fault divorces in all 50 states now.

Should you get a divorce attorney? For most people, the answer is yes. Very few marriages are simple enough to dissolve themselves without lawyers getting involved.

Read on for our top tips on how to find a good divorce lawyer.

Consider Your Goals

Most people do not respond well to the idea of their marriage ending. A few people feel a sense of relief, but many others feel hurt and betrayed. That hurt and betrayal may tempt them to lash out through their divorce papers.

A family and divorce lawyer can tell you why that’s not a good idea. Judges want to see reasonable, mature people in divorce court. Unfortunately, they often run into spouses who will stop at nothing to destroy each other.

Most divorces don’t spring up overnight. The problems have been simmering for a long time. Your lawyer should tell you what issues are relevant to court, and what issues are relevant to a therapist.

For instance, take cheating. It’s common, but that doesn’t mean the divorce court will care. Some states have laws that punish spouses who cheat, but they’re a lot less common than they used to be.

Infidelity may be relevant if it affects the children. Let’s say your spouse didn’t pick up your son from school because they were meeting up with their affair partner. That could be relevant to resolving child custody issues.

But what if your spouse is a bad partner but a decent parent? In that case, your divorce attorney may suggest it’s not worth airing that dirty laundry up in court.

Ask Your Friends

It’s unlikely that you exist in a social circle where no one has gotten divorced in the last few years. This isn’t the 50s, after all. If you have a divorced friend, ask them if they liked their divorce lawyer.

Your divorce lawyer is not going to be your best friend. But they should still be an ally in court. You should still be able to trust them to represent your interests.

Family law is one of the most common practice areas for attorneys. You’ll see no shortage of ads for such services in your city. Your goal should be to find someone who has substance rather than sizzle.

Divorce has a well-earned reputation for being emotionally tough. But your friends can tell you if their lawyers made the divorce easier or harder. Steer clear of attorneys who do the latter.

Shop Around

It’s also a good idea to talk to a few lawyers about how divorce looks in your state. Different states have different ways of dividing up the property.

Let’s use Texas as an example. Per the team at Underwood Law Offices, Texas is a community property state. This is good news for stay-at-home parents who believe they’ll get left with no assets or property after their high-earning spouse leaves them.

Talking to a few lawyers may help you realize that divorce doesn’t have to be the end of the world. In all likelihood, your spouse will not be able to leave you homeless and without child support.

Worried that talking to multiple lawyers might get expensive? Don’t be. The majority of divorce lawyers offer free initial consultations.

But be wary of talking with too many lawyers. If you talk to every lawyer in town, then it’s going to look like you’re trying to block your spouse from finding good divorce attorneys. That’s because a lawyer who has talked to you about your case would be unable to represent your spouse.

Money Matters

If you have children, you need a divorce attorney. This is doubly true if your estranged spouse has hired someone. You cannot afford to walk into a custody hearing without someone to fight for you.

But if you’re walking in with a certain budget, don’t get shy about saying so. You should feel comfortable saying, “I can afford X amount. Is that reasonable for a divorce like this?”

Good divorce attorneys don’t want to waste your time. If your number is unrealistic for the area, they’ll tell you.

Divorce is more expensive in some parts of the country than others. But don’t despair if you feel like you can’t afford an attorney.

Let’s go back to the stay-at-home parent example mentioned above. If your marriage had an extreme financial imbalance, the court may order your spouse to pay for your divorce attorney. Good judges want the proceedings to be as fair to both sides as possible.

If you made a lot less than your spouse, talk to lawyers about this possibility. You may very well have more divorce attorney funding options than you realize.

Stay-at-home parents generally don’t sit around the house eating cake and watching Netflix. Instead, they’ve sacrificed their potential earnings to be the primary caregiver for the children. That’s not insignificant.

Ask About a Timeline

It’s easy to forget to ask, “How long will this take?” But you need to do that for a few reasons.

States have mandatory waiting periods before the divorce can get completed. Other states may require you and your spouse to be legally separated for a set amount of time first.

Some states require a waiting period of three months. Other states will make you wait a year or two unless both sides agree to waive that right.

You may dream of changing your name back by Christmas. But where you live will determine whether that’s a realistic option.

Beyond Getting a Divorce Attorney

A reliable divorce attorney is crucial to most divorces. But it’s not the only key ingredient.

Your divorce attorney can take care of depositions and court filings. But it’s up to you take care of other things. That includes your health and well-being.

For more, check out our post on taking charge of your health during the divorce process.